Realities Coming Alive

             The title alone says it all. Realities that I never pictured myself in, are coming alive. If you know me personally, you know that leaving high school, or even starting senior year for that matter is one of my biggest fears. Most of my friends are like "Only one more year!" or "Let's blow this popcorn stand!", but I'm the one that sits in my high school band room and doesn't want to leave. It's human, right? Not to want to leave the place that you have called home for three, going on four, years? I'd like to think so. Starting senior year is the least of my worries for now anyway. I have to get my best friend transitioned into high school first. Then, I need to get accepted into a college. Yes, you read that correctly, this time my best friend is coming first. I won't go into detail because I don't have his permission, but lets just say that high school can be scary. Even if you are a boy, even if previous siblings have gone through it, even if you are familiar with the school, it can still be a little hard on the nerves. So regardless of me starting senior year, I am more focused on helping the freshman transition right now. Then, after they are settled in, the tables will turn and I will focus on me.
             This topic is one I lose sleep over. I cry tears over, and it is something my mind races 100 miles per hour for. Leaving, and as my friend would say "Leaving everything we have ever known to venture off into the workforce, military, etc." Its scary. I am scared, but I know with the help of my parents, friends, teachers, and God, somehow I'll make it through. I'll follow my dream and study Diagnostic Medical Sonography. I don't deserve anything less. None of us do. I have thought about it before and I find it somewhat ironic that all of my "lasts" will be my best friends "firsts" and as sad as this is, I love it because I can pass my legacy on to someone I know will take care of it. As I type this sitting here at my desk, I think about those occasions that will come: my last first day of school, my last football game, my last homecoming, my last band concert, my last musical performance, my last prom, my last this, my last that, and god forbid... my last day of high school and my last performance with the high school band. Ah, yes. High School Band. The thing I questioned even joining freshman year, and looking back I don't know how it was even a question. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WHEN IN DOUBT JOIN HIGH SCHOOL BAND. IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE. No, seriously... It will... and for the better too! See I play clarinet, and freshmen year I picked up alto saxophone, but band teaches you so much more than how to play a musical instrument, and more than the notes and rhythms. Believe it or not, in band you do more than just make a ton of friends (although this is a plus!). You learn life lessons, things that can't be taught outside of a high school band room, you learn leadership, you learn to have a passion and how to fight for that passion, you learn to put yourself out there and try because you can't go backwards. It isn't just one person that teaches you. It isn't just the teacher, or in this case, the director. It is a combination of people, all very good people who have set out to be a good example. Some say you shouldn't do this, but I am going to mention names. Alli, Megan, Lizzie, Jonathan, Carissa, Gail, Caittlyn, Mr. Alban and the list seriously goes on and on. Please if you are wondering if you have made a difference in my life, take the rosters from the past four years and combine them. If your name is on that list, or even if it is not. Chances are you have made a difference in my life and I would like to take a moment to publicly thank you all for shaping me into the person I am today. To all of you: Thank you! 
           Leaving is going to be a fear, its going to be a change, but I know I will find a new home, meet new friends, but always be able to return home to the current and past as well. As I write this blog post, I stare at two picture frames I received for my birthday a few days ago. One has a quote in it that reads "Don't let someone dim your light simply because it's shining in their eyes" and another holds two fantastic pictures of memories that were captures on our previous band trip to Walt Disney World. I encourage you to think about that quote and find the memories you treasure and take them with you where ever you may go because thanks to my best friends, I know I will. I refuse to leave without leaving a positive mark on as many people as I can. I refuse to leave without helping as many people as I can, but that day will come where I will be faced with a college campus and told to live my dream, but guess what, I will, and you should too! Whether you are already in college, going this next year, or have a few years before you face the journey, live your dream. Please! Go out and set forth on your own personal journey because you will always have a home to return to, always because in the words of my best friend "All fear stands for is False Evidence Appearing Real." 

I'm sure I could go on for hours more, but unfortunately I'm going to have to say goodbye until next time, but my sentence at the end of my post is going to be a little bit different tonight.

Keep Calm and I encourage you to go back "HOME" 
Where ever that may be for YOU!

A.B